Hi everyone I’m Richelle Youngblood I’m 29 years old and as of December 18 2012 I am a mom. I spent my whole pre-teen and teenage life caring for and raising children, but I never thought about having my own. I was fairly content with life and wasn’t expecting to have a relationship so I wasn’t planning on having kids, but of course we have a plan and then God has a plan. I guess God’s plan included a man and a baby so here I am a fiance and a mom all at once.
I think being a mom is the hardest job ever! I have taken care of family members children in groups at a time, and I worked in daycares with 15 to 25 kids at once but having this one baby is such a task. I knew having a baby would change my life but not this much. I love my daughter and I feel so blessed but there are so many struggles that I face as a new mom. I am blessed though because I have such a great support system, which is something all moms need whether its your first child or your sixth child.
Well here’s my story and I hope some of you can relate and feel like your not alone in what you’re going through. I started thinking there was no hope for me to find love, I was in an abusive relationship with a man 20 years older than me. I ended up in a hosptial battling depression so I basically had given up on men and started having the “all men are dogs” thoughts. Then I met my current fiance, he wasn’t really what I was looking for at the time but he was exactly what I needed. After a few months of dating I knew this was a perfect match but I fought it. I would always look for something to be wrong but there wasn’t much wrong so I started to create problems hoping to end this relationship. It went on from December until March and then I started having symptoms of pregnancy, and we talked about a baby but hadn’t really decided when to try, so I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. I knew my life was changing but didn’t want to accept it. I had a great pregnancy minus the 2 fibroids they found which might cause me to have a c-section. I didn’t have morning sickness but I was very moody and everything made me emotional. I couldn’t wait to have my baby to be over all the drama of pregnancy so I went into labor December 17th at 6:30 and had my angel December 18th at 9:19 am. She was perfect and I had this feeling of overwhelming love, so far everything was going the way I was told it would go. I heard everyone tell their stories of pregnancy and childbirth but what happened next was new. I left the hospital after 2 days and went home with my beautiful baby girl, and after a few nights of being home I started crying uncontrollably. I was told it was baby blues and it was normal, and that it would last for a few weeks. It went from baby blues to being more depressed and then to a point where I felt like I didn’t want my baby anymore. I love her so I wasn’t sure what was going on. Then I decided to really get control of it, which I couldn’t do. I started doing stuff like listening to a bible study session once a week and playing lots of gospel music and just praying and calling on Jesus when I got those feelings and I found some people I could really talk openly to and I begin to feel soooo much better, don’t get me wrong she’s 6 weeks old and I still have those moments where I just sit and cry. I just know there are some things that can help me when I feel like that.
I was happy I found some ways to feel sane again because I was sure I was losing it, nobody told me to look out for this so I didn’t expect it, I’m listening to gospel as I write this looking at my baby girl sleep and its just so peaceful. I believe being a mom is tough if you do by yourself or if your married because every mom has the same desires for their children and we all try to go that extra mile to see them succeed. I am a stay at home mom so I get to see the single mom side of it to an extent, it’s all on me to care for her all day until daddy comes home. Then when daddy comes home I see the other side of it cause not only are you caring for your child but you have a man to care for as well. It’s very trying and stressful and I wouldn’t give it up for anything, if I have learned anything in my 29 years I know God only gives us things we can handle.
My new life is full, I don’t have much time to myself and if I get to do the smallest thing for myself I’m thrilled. I love it! The key is to honestly find an outlet as a mom, you need a way to care for yourself because if you don’t then you can’t care for your child or children properly. I’ve wanted to blog about this ever since I found out I was pregnant because I think a lot of people make motherhood sound like its all love and some stress but it’s tough. I am blessed enough to have family who brought me up in church so if I don’t know how to deal with something prayer is a good outlet for me, but let’s be real there are times I am just mad at God and I don’t want to pray. I am learning when I get in the mood to not pray God sends me a whole bunch of stuff at once to make me pray, he has a sense of humor like that. Well it’s time to feed my munchkin so I hope someone can relate to something in my story I’m just a transparent mom so my blogs are just going to be real and open and I just pray someone out there is blessed just to know they are not in this alone.