Hey everyone it’s Richelle again, and I wanted to really talk about something serious a lot of moms deal with. I mentioned it a little in my last blog but I wanted to really write about it not that I’m an expert on it but I am going through it. It’s postpartum Depression and a lot of new moms go through it and nobody wants to talk about it. I guess it’s something that makes us feel bad and insecure about ourselves as mothers. If you have been through this or are going through this just know you are not alone, just because women wont talk about it doesn’t mean they aren’t going through it.
I told you that I started having some symptoms when my daughter was about 5 days old and now she is 6 weeks old and I am still having some weepy nights and some weird thoughts. I always wonder if I’m a bad mom because there are times when I look at her and I really feel like I don’t want her and then there are times when I think about how much life would be different if she weren’t here. Then I snap out that mood and I’m back to being a happy mom again it really does make you feel crazy, and if you been there you know what I mean. I know a lot of you were told that when you have your baby you will have an overwhelming feeling of love and you would be so in love with your baby and basically it would all be perfect, and I know you are thinking what a crock. Fortunately some woman don’t deal with postpartum depression or ppd some women just bounce right back after having their babies, but just because some women do doesn’t mean that’s normal. Post-partum doesn’t mean you aren’t normal it just means you had a baby and your body is reacting to it. I have to remind myself all the time that what I’m experiencing is common, and I have to constantly reach out to people and let them know when I’m not feeling like myself. I have days when I cry all day long, but I also haven’t been able to care for myself like I should so they might play a part in it. I don’t sleep hardly ever I don’t eat and since the depression I don’t have much of an appetite. I don’t get to shower or brush my hair everyday like most people, and every little thing affects my mood. I love my baby and I know I don’t want to harm her but I also know post-partum can bring those feelings. I recently read that a teenage girl and boy had a baby the baby was crying and the teen girl couldn’t get the baby to stop she took her baby to the backyard and put the baby in a shoebox and buried the baby. It’s not right that she did that but that could be part of post partum, it can get that serious.
I know a lot of women myself included want to try to overcome post partum by themselves and they feel like it will pass or they can handle it. Let me tell you now it only gets worse, get help if you need it and don’t let anybody make you feel bad about it. I was watching a show on The Style Network called Tia and Tamera, and got see both sisters adventure in pregnancy and motherhood. They are twin sisters who had completely different experiences which shows you no two pregnancies are the same, so don’t let anybody make you feel bad for going through something they didn’t go through. Tia had a hard pregnancy and ended up on bedrest but had her son and didn’t experience any post partum. Tamera on the other hand had a fairly easy pregnancy but she battled depression some time before being pregnant and she talked about her fear that she would experience post partum, thankful she didn’t, but she acknowledges how real it is.
If you are a mom who is in the post partum boat don’t come down hard on yourself and don’t let others come down hard on you either. Be patient with yourself and be open to talking to a doctor, a family member, your partner,or even another mom who is going through this or has been through this.
If you are having thoughts of harming yourself or your baby seek immediate professional help and don’t feel bad that you need help. I have been there and I still have my moments where I have to reach out to everyone I can to help keep me sane. Just know that getting help doesn’t make you a bad mom it is helping you to become a better mom. As much as I love my family and my fiance none of them have been through post partum depression so they give advice and it doesn’t always help sometimes it makes it much worse. I learned to reach to different people with a different outlook and even scheduled to see a doctor this weekend although I’m not having it as bad as I was a few days ago I want to have some help to know what to do if I get to that point again. The best thing you can do when you are experiencing ppd or any hardship as a parent is to reach out for help and be honest about it, don’t worry about being judged, get help. I am always open to talk about PPD with any mom I’m not an expert but I’ve been there and I can offer some advice and some tips. If you are dealing with PPD just know it wont last forever, there is an ending to it, that’s a good way to look at it. Hang in there because I promise it does get easier! o