Loving yourself is to live on purpose

I just wrote an ebook, The Art of Loving Yourself. I wrote this ebook because I believe that loving ourselves means knowing who we are and walking in who we are created to be. In love we exemplify the highest level of our being, and become most like our creator.


Here is a sample from the book:
“Everything is in life is based on your ability to learn to love yourself. When you love yourself you to take responsibility for the choices you make and you move closer to realizing our dream.When you treat yourself in a loving way, everything in life will work together to assist you. Love creates a healthy environment in which you can grow and produce the kind of life you want. Loving yourself develops into healthy decision making skills and produces loving relationships that foster growth. When you love yourself you disconnect from everything that do not support you. You become more willing to confront life and make tough choices. Loving yourself begins with believing you deserved to be loved.”


Loving yourself means walking in your uniqueness. It’s the greatest lesson you can give to others. Knowing who you are creates a desire within to love yourselves more. It means showing others through action what love is and can be. When you become who you are created to be it is the geatest lesson in “The Art of Loving Yourself”.


Get a FREE copy of the Ebook  www.carlaamstrong.com

The Art of Loving Yourself

Carla Armstrong is a speaker, consultant and life coach for women and teens. She develops training programs for college students, single mothers and HR professionals. She may be contacted at http://www.carlaarmstrong.com

Develop healthy self talk

To achieve success we need to have a positive attitude. We can achieve this by using positive thinking and self-talk. People who succeed need to think positive and tell themselves that they can do it.

Thinking “you can” acheive that big dream you have for the future will change your attitude and make those dreams come true. Tell yourself that you can do it instead of thinking negative.  Allow yourself to think that the dream is big because you are not going to do it alone.

If we think about negative things, our mind will talk us right out of doing something especially if it seems too big. Don’t pay attention to those negative thoughts; feed yourself a different thought by thinking, “I can do this.”

Our attitudes depend on how we are thinking.  If we think negative thoughts, we will be unhappy. When we are happy, thinking positive things, our attitude will be happy and we in turn can be happier around others as well as ourselves.  We have to be happy with our self in order to have a good attitude on life.

When things are not going well for us we can seek to find out why. Think about how you developed this attitude and what can you do to change how you feel. Make a list of all the things that made you angry and what made you angry with yourself. Now prioritize the list with the worst one on top and work your way down until the bottom.

Develop strategies for facing whatever bothers you in life. One way is to develop a positive attitude and it starts with positive thinking and speaking. In our next blog we will share other tips you can use to change your situation and develop healthy self talk.

Carla Armstrong is a speaker, consultant and life coach for women and teens. She develops training programs for college students, single mothers and HR professionals. She may be contacted at http://www.carlaarmstrong.com.

You must be willing to go deep

Your best shines when you go deep. Surface living is no longer an option if you want to be authentic.

Going deep requires your willingness to take the path that leads to authenticity.

Here are a few helpful steps to lead the way:

Learn to love yourself
Speak the truth about who you are
Embrace your unique gifts and abilities
Walk in Faith and Love

Going deep is part of the process of life.


Carla Armstrong is a speaker, consultant and life coach for women and teens. She develops training programs for college students, single mothers and HR professionals.  She may be contacted at http://www.carlaarmstrong.com.

3 steps to moving beyond frustration……

This week we continue the conversation of taking care of self. I recently did a you tube video about how to deal with frustration. I realize many women are frustrated because they have lost touch with their imaginations. They have stopped dreaming about something better for themselves and feel trapped in their right now. Leaving them living a mediocre life filled with frustration and disappointment.

To lose your imagination is to not understand your value. It leads to losing insight to the why of life. You begin to blame others for your inability to move beyond where you are. (I’ve recently become very surprised by the number of mature women who show signs of frustration via acts of jealousy).

When a woman feels she’s missing/missed something in life and/or has lost her voice, she will become frustrated and strike out. She will say and do hurtful things because she is hurting. Frustration shows up to try and make you feel like there is no way out or that all hope is gone. Neither of these may be true. But if you believe its true, it is.

To change your position of thought you must choose to see from another perspective.

Here are a few steps you can take:
1. Activate your imagination to change the way you are seeing. Seek clarity.
2. Write down your thoughts. What comes up in your thinking? Let it out!
3. Review and repeat what you have written to set a new course of living and being

These simple steps can shift you into a new place of thinking and being. It will also show you areas of your life where you need to ask for help. The important thing is to refocus and see that everything in life starts with you.

Frustration is an emotion in need of attention and acknowledgement. The moment you shift to activate a different thought process you can move to a better place of being.

Check out my you tube video on How to deal with frustration: http://www.youtube.com/cdyarm

Personal care thru prayer and meditation

This women’s history month our focus remains on ways to care for self.  This post we will talk about two ways I have personally used to get more focused and tuned in, Prayer and meditation.

Prayer is a way of having a conversation with God. It’s an opportunity to hear and be heard. A chance to take your cares and place them in the hands of someone who cares for you. It is a faith walk exercise that speaks to your belief in God’s ability to take care of you. This is about tapping into a power greater than you and whatever it is you are experiencing in the moment. It is an opportunity to move beyond limited thinking into a place of infinite possibilities. Prayer is an opportunity to release your cares, worries, fear and doubt and place it where you never have to pick it up again. It is also about staying and hearing an answer for how to move forward. This is an act of relationship.

Meditation for me is a place of quiet surrender. It is both a practice and state of mind. There is a focusing and releasing through quiet and stillness. You can enter into it from many places including prayer. Some people enter through music chants, exercise. I like using the practice of yoga to bring me to this place. It allows me to surrender my spirit, soul and body. It is an opportunity for my whole self to become engaged in the process. It is another way to still yourself and to let go of those things which are bigger than you to enter into a place of self care.

These techniques can be used to help us stay on the path to embracing who we are through self care. Whatever technique you use is an individual decision.  The point is to take care of you!!

Opening our mind is the path to receiving what we need so we can be healthier, happier women. Making prayer and meditation part of your experience will help you on your journey of caring for yourself.

Solitude a place for self care

March is women’s history month. I launched this months blog talking about March madness ( see last post), I feel like I’m on an exposure spree. Exposing lack of self care.

In the news lately there has been a lot of talk about women and our bodies, etc., and whether what we need should be paid for by others. What I hear is an opportunity for women to define what is important to us. It’s a chance to use our voices to create a healthier place for us to learn and grow. It is also an opportunity to help others learn and grow.

The last few days, I’ve come in contact with women who know they need to take care of themselves but can’t find the time. It’s true that we have a hard time caring for ourselves. What is more true is we feel guilty when doing it. There are so many reasons why we can’t find the time. The biggest one being because we don’t place value on ourselves or our needs. We want to save the world and take care of ourselves later. I know because I was the “queen bee” of this game.

As the oldest child I felt it was my responsibility. Not sure who told me it was mine, but clearly I took on the roll. I was the go to person. If you want something done call me it doesn’t matter what else I’m doing. Sound familiar. Yes I can drop whatever it is I’m doing and take care of your “stuff”. What I didn’t realize was that while I was taking care of everybody’s stuff, no one was taking care of mine.

There is a history of this behaviour in families. What it has done is weakened us as caretakers instead of empowering us. True caretakers understand the importance of taking care of themselves first.  (Think airplane safety in case of emergency put your vest on FIRST). We must put our vest on FIRST. Our actions are the best teachers for those who want to learn self care and how to care for us.

Here is one strategy I’ve incorporated into my life.

Solitude is one of the best tools for self care. It gives you an opportunity to get quiet and care for self. It positions you in a state of being not doing. It’s an opportunity to quiet the mind and to calm the busyness of life. Solitude is a great place to sit and hear what is being said when you listen. When was the last time you found time for solitude? You can start small 5-10 minutes in your day is a great starting point. Use it as quiet time to hear yourself think. Tune into your mind/body, listen to what it wants to tell you.

It’s not the big things that always make a difference. Small daily acts of targeted time of self care can lead to big rewards. Do it consistently over a period of time and you create a habit. Here’s to Solitude and time built into your schedule for “just you”.

Savour the moment and enjoy your quality time alone, you’ve earned it!!

Welcome to March Madness

Happy March!! It’s hard to believe but it’s here. You are probably wondering why I chose this title. 

Whenever I think of March, this college basketball term comes to mind. (In case you didn’t know I’m a single parent to a son). During this month college teams compete for the national championship of basketball. It’s a crazy time with a lot of games being played back to back. http://www.ncaa.com/march-madness

This month we will blog about the madness that goes on in our personal lives.  The competing priorities we allow to takeover our days. The back to back lifestyle we have created and called living.

I’ve been talking to a lot of women who are having a hard time with being disciplined. As women we can become so busy with doing that we forget about being. I’m guilty too! We get a few moments to ourselves, we feel guilty and start doing. Sound familiar? The madness of doing hinders us from embracing being.

Embracing ways of being can help us transition to a more disciplined way of living. One client after 5 years of working two jobs has finally had a full night’s rest. Can you imagine not resting for five years? It took her body two months to adjust to sleeping through the night. She emailed me so excited because she slept through the night.

These are a few of the things we as women, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc., have put ourselves though trying to BE. Being does not equal doing. Rest is necessary to BE. Let’s break free of the March madness of life by finding a more disciplined way of being.  It’s necessary for our spritual, mental and physical health.

Start by creating an environment that welcomes personal time. Time for reflecting on how to better utilize what we have been given. As we enter into the first day of March, let’s confront madness of our busy lives by embracing a more disciplined way of living.

This month, March Madness is a term we will use to confront our busy lives.  We will approach it by identifying ways to use more focused simple disciplines.

Happy March Madness!!